By Tobin BarnesSorry, this is my feeling-lazy column.
But I also have to say it’ll be one of my best columns because the material does all the heavy lifting.
Anyway, here’s the opening thought: Shakespeare said through his character Polonius, “Since brevity is the soul of wit, let me be brief”—which, in itself, is very witty. (Hey, that Shakespeare was pretty good, huh?)
And that’s what we’re talking about today: brevity.
In my wanderings through cyberspace, I’ve run across this book titled “Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Authors Famous and Obscure” by Larry Smith and Rachel Fershleiser.
The premise of the book is to write a memoir in only six words, as in “Not Quite What I Was Planning,” which would probably fill the bill for most of us. After all, as John Lennon prophetically said, “Life is what happens while you are making other plans.”
In our attention-deficit-disordered society, six-word books will work quite well for all too many of us, whereas ten-word quotes by ex-Beatles might prove a tad cumbersome.
Nevertheless, six words can say a lot about a person’s life. Remember Julius Caesar’s roundup? “I came. I saw. I conquered.”
So take for example, “Nobody cared, then they did. Why?”
Or, “I was a Michael Jackson impersonator.” Sounds like a tale of woe.
One of my favorite mini-memoirs is “Most successful accomplishments based on spite.” Motivational speakers should grab onto this concept.
On the warm and fuzzier side, there’s “Cursed with cancer. Blessed by friends” and “I still make coffee for two.”
Of course, the brevity might be all-too-easily inspired by simplicity, as in “No wife. No kids. No problems.”
Admittedly, some of the memoirs are more along the lines of “What the heck is that about?” Take for example writer Amy Sedaris’s enigmatic “Mushrooms. Clowns. Wands. Five. Wig. Thatched.” You’ll need Sherlock Holmes or perhaps Sigmund Freud for those.
As reviewers of the book have mentioned, “Not Quite What I Was Planning” is addictive, making for the perfect book to leave lying around and picking up at odd (really odd?) moments. The reviewer for Vanity Fair said, “Will thrill minimalists and inspire maximalists.”
All this started when the online magazine SMITH asked its readers to imitate Ernest Hemingway’s attempt to prove that a big story can be told in few words when he wrote, "For Sale: baby shoes, never worn." The online magazine was swamped with 11,000 submissions from humble and noble writers alike. And that’s what led to the book.
Here’s some more from the book, chosen by an Amazon blogger:
“Brought it to a boil. Often.”—famous chef Mario Batali
“Revenge is living well. Without you.”—novelist Joyce Carol Oates
“Wasn’t born a redhead; fixed that.”—Andie Grace
Other reviewers have noted that these six-word memoirs often coax readers to come up with their own six-word summations. The above same Amazon reviewer came up with these:
“Always somewhere nearby, reading a book.”
“Too comfortable to do anything important.”
“Bloomed late, but got it right.”
And his friend contributed:
“Simple mind, simple pleasures, complex path.”
“Landed a dream job: Ben’s Dad.”
So what would your six-word memoir be?
