Good Late Night

Monologue | Aired Tuesday night on CBS: Thank you very much. Welcome to the “Late Show,” ladies and gentlemen. Now, when I call your name, please come forward and pick up your apology.

I want to get through this as quickly as possible so you folks can get to the “Fire Dave” rally.

It’s nice that people hate me who are no longer just part of my immediate family.

My son, you know, he’s telling everybody at school that his father is Conan. Read more…