In the News:

In the spirit of downsizing, my wife and I gave up our $700k home for a 400k home and the good news is we didn’t even have to move. – Will Durst

The first-ever pets-only airline began service last week. The first flight was behind schedule; they just couldn’t fly very fast with all those dogs sticking their heads out the window.

Pope Benedict XVI slipped at his vacation home and fractured his wrist. Of course, someone from his staff immediately picked up the phone and dialed IX-I-I. – Bill Mihalic, Rochester, Mich.

Jon and Kate are back in the news with “who left who.” Or is it who left whom? Whatever. The proper English is, “Who cares!” – Bill Williams

An 81-year-old man drove in a Nascar event this weekend. His left turn blinker was on the whole way. – Jim Rose

The Woodstock Music Festival is 40 years old this summer. Those who attended have changed quite a bit. They still do drugs. But now there’s a $15 co-pay. – Alan Ray, Stockton, Calif.