Good Late Night Jokes: Chris Christie's Pants

Chris Christie - Caricature (Photo credit: DonkeyHotey)

Late Show With David Letterman

• The Rockefeller Center's Christmas tree is being put in place this afternoon. They bring it in and hoist it with a crane and steel cables. It's the same way they get Chris Christie into his pants.
• According to a study, there are three areas where humans now are getting dumber. High school kids. Retirees. And another group of dumb people? Four-star generals.

Conan

• There's a petition for Texas to secede. It has 25,000 signatures. The signatures are from every state but Texas.

Jay Leno

• It was announced today that former General Petraeus has agreed to testify before Congress. I guess he figured, "Why not?" Those questions can't be any tougher than the ones he's getting at home right now.
• A dozen New York Jets players told a reporter that Tim Tebow is "terrible." They said he's a terrible quarterback. And believe me, if anybody knows terrible, it's the Jets.