Good 'Late Night' Jokes

English: David Letterman hosting President Barack Obama at Late Show with David Letterman. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

David Letterman

• It's a very proud night for myself and my family and my staff and my friends. I received a Kennedy Center Honor. And today the Republicans are trying to block it.
• With the Kennedy Center Honors, I am now 17th in line for president.
• I'm worried about the fiscal cliff in the same way I'm worried about Martians. Every now and then I look for them but I don't know what I'll do when I see them.

Jimmy Fallon

• Today it was confirmed that Prince William and Kate Middleton are expecting their first baby. You can tell the baby’s a member of the royal family, because Kate said she can already feel it waving.
• A new survey found that “Sophia” and “Aiden” were the most popular baby names this year. The least popular baby name was Kim Jong Sandusky.
• Friends of Mitt Romney are saying that he’s bored now that he’s no longer running for president — though not as bored as the rest of us were when he WAS running for president.