Pope's Visit

clipped from laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com Aired Thursday night on CBS: These international trips are tricky, and often there can be some confusion and perhaps some embarrassment. They had an episode today in Washington, everybody is laughing about it now. But at the time it was not funny. The Pope, after the mass, accidentally gave the last rites to John McCain. The Pope, God bless him, got on the Pope-Mobile after the mass. And then, President Bush followed him in the Dope-Mobile.

Hot on the Trail

clipped from laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com Mrs. Stickers Begins a Campaign

Simon's Cat

Patches: These Boys Have Found a Friend

The Human Camera

It's Getting Tough Out There

(Sent by Roy Wilson)

Jerry the Dog

COLUMN: 'Once' Is More Than Enough

By Tobin Barnes
Note: You and I are going to have a conversation. Talk any time you want. I think I’ll be able to hear you. Let’s go:

Here’s the deal. I’m going to do you a favor today. Steer you onto something I think you’re going to like. You’d very likely miss it if it weren’t for me.

“Well, that’s a plus.”

Thank you, I appreciate that. You see, it’s a movie.

“Oh no!”

Whoops. I knew I shouldn’t have said that so soon.

“Is this going to be another movie rant? Like the diatribe a few weeks ago? The thing about how Barnes likes romantic comedies better than other kinds of movies?”

Take it easy. This isn’t going to be nearly so painful. The movie I’m talking about almost defies categorization, it’s so unique. You’re going to love it.

“This better be good, Barnes. It’s your last chance. I’ve about had it with you and your goofy suggestions.”

Hang with me. (This is starting to sound like Tom Hanks in “Castaway” talking to Wilson, his soccer ball buddy. But, hey, I’m comfortable with the schizo thing if you are.)

This movie is about songs. Entire songs are sung in the movie.

“Songs! Give me a break.”

Hold on. It’s also about the people who play and sing them, too. Whole thing’s kind of semi-autobiographical about how this woman from the Czech Republic meets this guitar-playing Irish street musician—except instead of meeting in Prague where they really met, in the movie they’re meeting in Dublin, Ireland.

She’s an immigrant scraping by as a street vendor while supporting her mother and little girl. He’s singing one of his own songs when they meet. One thing leads to another, and she finds out that his day job is fixing Hoover vacuums. Now that’s great, as far as she’s concerned, because her Hoover is on the fritz.

“Riveting stuff there, Barnes.”

Yeah, I agree. So the next day, they meet on the same street, and she’s brought her vacuum along. And they decide to go to coffee before he fixes her Hoover. Of course, she’s got to drag her vacuum along with her. Any questions?

“Absolutely none.”

Well, one thing leads to another, like I said. At coffee, he finds out that she plays the piano, but she’s so poor, she does her playing in a music store on the new pianos because the owner’s a nice guy. So after coffee, they go to the store and she plays along with one of his songs. Before long—about mid-song—they realize they’re getting each other totally. It’s Nelson Eddy and Jeannette McDonald all over again. Yeah, they’re like sympatico. Except they’re not.

“You’re killing me, here, Barnes.”

Well, you see, that’s what makes the story interesting. They’re of the same soul, but sadly separated by life. He’s still pining over the someone he writes his songs about but can’t bear to be with, and she’s a married woman who doesn’t live with her husband because, among other things, he doesn’t appreciate her music.

Nevertheless, they continue to collaborate musically, and she’s like stuffing to his turkey, helping his music take flight. And, you know, one thing leads to another, and, well, it’s a great story with some great music, though the dialects are sometimes difficult to understand but don’t let that bother you. Also, they’ve hardly spent any money making the movie, but then again, some of my favorite movies are the character-driven cheapos, and, hey, I just know you’re going to like it.

“I’m almost convinced.”

It’s called “Once.” See, you probably haven’t heard of it, have you. You’d probably miss it if it weren’t for me. It’s no longer in theatres, but it’s out on DVD for rental and will probably be on the movie channels soon.

“I’ll rush right out.”

Good. I know you’ll be grateful.

Unfortunately, I Look Like This Most of the Time

clipped from laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com

Latest Monologues

clipped from laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com Aired Wednesday night on NBC: The husband of Democratic U.S. Senator Deborah Stabenow from Michigan has admitted he paid a prostitute he met on the Internet $150 for sex at a hotel room. Now, he could end up serving four years as governor of New York — if he is convicted. Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, while speaking before Congress, warned we may be headed towards a recession. Oh, thank you, Captain Obvious! Let me guess. Real estate market not looking too good either? Oh, and Bush’s secretary of housing announced he is stepping down. Well, sure. Nobody’s got a house anymore. He’s got nothing to do — might as well step down.