Saturday, January 17, 2009

Late Night

Jay Leno

Monologue | Aired Thursday night on NBC: I tell you, it’s cold all over the East Coast. And did you see those blizzards all over the place? The whole country was so white the Republicans thought they were back in charge again.

Incoming press secretary Robert Gibbs said President-elect Barack Obama will allow gays to serve openly in the military. So the days of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” are over. Actually, that’s not quite true. Congress will continue to use the phrase when referring to the bailout money. “Don’t Ask Us What We Did With It, We’re Not Going To Tell You Where It Went.”

And at his confirmation hearing, Attorney General Nominee Eric Holder said as far as he is concerned, waterboarding is torture. And Treasury secretary nominee Tim Geithner said, “So is paying taxes.”

As you may have heard, Tim Geithner, who’s been chosen to be our next secretary of the Treasury didn’t pay $34,000 in federal taxes from 2001 to 2004. But to keep the nomination afloat, he paid it this week, plus another $8,000 in interest. So that’s $42,000 the U.S. Treasury made just like that. You know what Barack Obama should do now? He should appoint Willie Nelson to the position of Commerce Secretary. What does he owe, $28 million?

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