Good 'Late Night' Jokes

I went back to Boston to visit my family for Thanksgiving, and I cannot tell you how good it is to be back in a room full of total strangers.--Conan

I don’t think it’s healthy how the holiday sales start on Thanksgiving night. You shouldn’t spend Thanksgiving night in stores fighting with strangers. You should be at home, fighting with your family.--Craig Ferguson

I just heard about a woman in Germany who just gave birth to a baby boy named “Jihad.” Or as the TSA put it, “Hope you like Amtrak!”--Jimmy Fallon

The number of households that own a television set is down for the first time since they started the survey. This is America! The only excuse for not having a TV in your home is, you're too fat to fit into Best Buy to get one.--Jimmy Kimmel