Headline Observation:

“Thief battered in fish shop” Looking for bread, breaded instead

Headline Observation:

“Honda unveils dog-friendly car”
Featuring bark-activated GPS bone finder and passenger’s side water bowl

Headline Observation:

"Skeleton found in tree 29 years after suicide"
Found earlier if people took time to appreciate nature

Headline Observation:

“Hard times lead 21 couples to share wedding”
Of course, that means at least 21 drunken uncles all in one place

Headline Observations

“Man hoping to be deported streaks down Fla. street”
Works nearly every time