Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Douglas Adams: Forty-two.
Mohammed Aldouri (Iraqi ambassador): The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
George W. Bush: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.
Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Agent Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
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