By Tobin Barnes(Warning: Up ahead you’ve got more metaphors and cliches than you can shake a stick at. Be brave.)
Whoa, Obama’s got the mo.
And Hillary’s got no show.
But don’t cry for her Argentina. She’s still got Bill and the Senate and will no doubt fight another day. All a mixed blessing.
Anyway, that’s how I see it.
But what do I know?
Nothing. Zip. Nada. No more than the next Joe Schmoe, but then maybe more than the Schmoes in the media. They’re constantly proven wrong—especially the fathead know-it-alls, and there’s a ton of them, making up one of those commodities where there’s more supply than demand—a deflationary spiral.
Thing is, we’ve all got our opinions, and one opinion’s about as good as another—not much.
But as Damon Runyon once said in a paraphrase of Ecclesiastes, “The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that’s the way to bet.”
And Obama’s looking pretty swift and strong right now. Some sort of decathlete, maybe. Multi-dimensional. He’s got the stuff you can’t coach.
Therefore, the bandwagon’s pulling up to the betting window.
Hillary’s pretty much got to run the table from here on out, and her cue stick’s gotten shorter every day. Matter of fact, she might very well be bowing out as we speak. (Whoops, I’m sounding like a know-it-all.)
Whatever. Let’s move on and see what other tortured metaphors can I come up with to describe this knock-down-drag-out.
How about this one:
America’s still looking for the great white hope.
Just so happens this time he’s black.
But no problem.
If Obama can make a once-profoundly racist society overlook his color—totally ignore it in most cases—what other charming and inspirational things can he do for this country?
That seems to be his appeal.
After seven years of wandering in the desert, many Americans think they’ve spotted a gorgeous oasis, metaphorically speaking (I warned you). It might be nothing but a mirage, but it looks good from here. Maybe just goes to show the level of our thirst for the kind of America we’ve all come to expect but haven’t had the chance to celebrate lately.
Oh sure, there’s a lot of pie-in-the-sky stuff amongst all this “change” business, maybe some angelic choirs, some rose-colored glasses perhaps, but even Karl Rove had dreams, don’tchathink? He, Bush and Cheney surely also had a vision that covered them with warmth when nestled all snug in their jammies.
And, heck, we tried that vision by golly, and, heck, it soured for most of us—about 70 percent in the polls last couple years.
So maybe it’s time for another vision put forward by a guy who’s got some moxie for a change, some skills, some street cred, some forward propulsion. Someone who paid attention in class, for crying out loud.
I’m thinking that’s what people are thinking.
And that’s been Hillary’s campaign problem.
(Alert: Finishing with an overwrought extended metaphor.)
Hillary’s more like the highly competent class president who can four-point plan the holy heck out of things, but the kids think she’s a egghead geek. They’re not out selling the magazines or helping at the car washes she so carefully arranges. They’re not even showing up to help decorate for the prom. They’ll let her do it instead. And by golly, she’ll do a pretty darned good job of it. That’s why they elected her in the first place.
But where’s the school pride?
(Been a high school teacher way too long, haven’t I?)
On the other hand, Obama’s the BMOC the kids want to emulate. They feel good about themselves knowing he likes to hang with the gang. Speaks their lingo.
Believe it or not, they might even show up to help clean the gym after the big dance.
