Latenight Monologues

clipped from laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com Aired Wednesday night on NBC: Barack Obama spoke today about the need to send a man into space. The man he wants to send, the Reverend Jeremiah Wright. And on ABC News tonight, they said gas prices are now flirting with $4 a gallon. Flirting? Huh? Aren’t we a little beyond flirting? Aren’t we getting screwed at this point? Boy, it is hard to keep up with all these crises we have in America. Remember last week, when everybody in America was obese? Remember that? This week there’s a food shortage. What happened over the weekend? Did we pig out and eat all the food? And police in China have discovered that many of the “Free Tibet” banners that these protesters are waving were actually made in China. I guess officials got suspicious when they noticed the banners were made out of lead.