OFF THE WALL...: August 2012

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Gail Collins on The Republican Convention

Mitt Romney - Caricature (Photo credit: DonkeyHotey)

So, about Mitt Romney.

The Republicans have been holding a convention to nominate him for president! I am telling you this on the off chance that you haven’t been paying attention. Perhaps you feel as if you’ve already met Mitt Romney and don’t require another introduction. Perhaps you feel as if you’ve met him a lot. But this is entirely different because the party’s mission this week is to construct an entirely new, improved, warmer, more lovable version.

They built this Romney!

“We built it” is one of the themes here, at the government-underwritten convention in a government-subsidized convention center in a city that rose on the sturdy foundation of government-subsidized flood insurance. But no taxpayer dollars were expended in the attempt to put together a New Mitt.

None. Really, it was just private corporations and rich people.

Oliphant: Same-Sex Marriage

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Good Late Night Jokes

speaking at CPAC in Washington D.C. on February 11, 2011. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

David Letterman

Mitt Romney, does he look familiar to you? He looks like the guy who used to host "Tic-Tac-Dough."
According to The New York Times, Iraq now loves American fast food. They hate us but they love our fast food. This is how we work. We force democracy on them and then we sneak in morbid obesity.
Lindsay Lohan has been in and out of the slammer more times than you would care to count. Now she is a person of interest in a jewel heist. She's already picking out her inappropriate outfit for her next court date.

Conan

A group of coal miners in Ohio said that their bosses forced them to attend a Mitt Romney campaign event. You know you're boring when people would rather dig coal than listen to you speak.

Jay Leno

Donald Trump was bumped from speaking at the Republican convention because of Hurricane Isaac. See, nobody ever talks about the good things hurricanes do.

Borowitz Report: Disturbed Man

TAMPA (The Borowitz Report)—A mentally unhinged man slipped past security at the Republican National Convention last night and delivered a keynote address before he was subdued.
The man ranted incoherently on a variety of subjects, frightening many in the national television audience as security officials plotted their next move.

“We thought if we let him blow off some steam, maybe he would go quietly,” said the security spokesman Harland Dorrinson. “But he just kept shouting. I thought he was going to chew someone’s face off.”
After the man was subdued with a tranquilizer dart, Presidential nominee Mitt Romney said, “I hope he gets the help he needs,” adding, “Having said that, I’m going to repeal Obamacare on Day One.”

The Borowitz Report: Romney, the Regular Guy

Mitt Romney - Caricature (Photo credit: DonkeyHotey)

TAMPA (The Borowitz Report)—On the opening night of the 2012 Republican National Convention, the Presidential nominee Mitt Romney received fulsome praise for being a “regular, down-to-earth guy” from his wife, Ann, whose dressage horse, Rafalca, competed in the London Olympics.
“Mitt has never let his success go to his head,” Mrs. Romney said. “Take away the seven-thousand-square-foot house in La Jolla and the bank account in the Caymans, he’s still the same fun-loving boy who pinned a gay kid to the ground and cut off his hair.”

Mrs. Romney adopted an intimate tone as she attempted to describe “the Mitt only I know.”
“Every now and then, Mitt will give me this devilish smile of his, and I know that can only mean one thing,” she said, flushing slightly. “He just fired someone.”

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Oliphant: The Empty Suit Duo

Monday, August 27, 2012

Another Great Timelapse

NightFall from Colin Rich on Vimeo.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Charles M. Blow: Bad Candidate

Romney (Photo credit: Talk Radio News Service)

Romney is one of the worst presidential candidates in recent memory. He is stiff and awkward and inconsistent and struggles to connect with people. His track record is all over the place. And he’s willing to say anything and embrace anyone to further his ambitions, which is as distasteful a character trait as they come. If you are straightforward with folks, they may disagree with you but most will at least respect you. I’m not sure that Romney ever learned that lesson. His “by any means necessary” approach is by all measures repugnant.