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| English: Jodie Foster at the César awards ceremony Français : Jodie Foster à la cérémonie des César du cinéma (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
David Letterman
- Thirteen years ago today doctors had me split open like a lobster and they performed the highly dangerous bypass surgery. Today I said, "Doctor, I'm calling to thank you very much. Thirteen years ago today you saved my life." And he says "Well, Dave, it seemed like a good idea at the time."
- I had five bypasses. Or, as former Vice President Dick Cheney refers to it, "a checkup."
Jimmy Fallon
- Republicans and Democrats are working on a new bill to streamline the healthcare system. It will reduce the cost of mammograms and prostate exams. But don't worry. They'll still be free at the airport.
Conan
- The Golden Globes last night had a lot of great moments. During Jodie Foster's emotional speech she said she was gay, 50, and friends with Mel Gibson. Afterwards, her publicist told Jodie, "I'm going to need a raise."
- President Obama's half-brother is running for political office in Kenya. Donald Trump has already accused him of being born in the United States.
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