COLUMN: Happily Reeling in the Years

By Tobin Barnes
Just found out getting older’s absolutely peachy.

That is, up to a certain point, I guess. Cross that point and you’re dead.

Not so peachy.

But, again, up to that point, things get rosier as you age.

Uh huh, pretty much no matter what age you are, get some more years on you, and you’re going to get happier.

Appears to be consolation for all the things you lose along that rugged road to geezerhood.

Older you get, things stop working so well. You almost don’t notice it until you notice it. Creeps up on you. Then you wonder where it went. Wasn’t in your plans.

Some things get bigger and some things get smaller, and not usually the things you’d choose. Not only that, but hair stops growing where you want it and starts growing where you don’t.

To be totally frank, aging is a mess, not to mention a pain in the butt.

However, it seems that all this time you’re getting happier and happier.

Didn’t notice that phenomenon?

Well, that’s if you believe a recent study from the University of Chicago as reported by the Chicago Sun Times and picked up by the Associated Press.

One of the items in the study stated that, “In general, the odds of being happy increase 5 percent with every 10 years of age.”

Get to 50 and that makes you 25 percent happier than when you were born. Make it to 80 and you’re 40 percent happier. But that’s maybe if you aren’t wearing diapers again like you were at the beginning.

I suppose all this means that as you approach 100, you don’t have much of a body left, but nevertheless you’re beside yourself with glee.

Sounds like being on crack.

This report evidently justifies George Bernard Shaw’s quip that “Youth is wasted on the young.” When you’re young, you’ve got that dazzlingly fresh body but not the wisdom to fully enjoy it, and when you’ve finally got the wisdom to ramp up some worthwhile action, you’re sitting there poohed out in the easy chair.

Lot of irony in that.

It’s kind of like life is one big practical joke.

On you.

Other than getting this joke and perhaps giggling about it every day in fits of delight, what else makes us happier as we age? Seeing the kids leave home and having the dog die?

The news story says, “Among the possible reasons: increasing job satisfaction and more settled personal lives.

“While health problems may increase,” the article continues, “they are offset somewhat by fewer youth-related stresses such as broken hearts, entry-level paychecks and angst.”

Yeah, that teenaged angst can getcha.

They didn’t even mention the old man and the old lady being in your business every other minute. And how about those teachers’ dirty looks?

But doesn’t aging pack some “angst,” too? Like the increasing chances of having to deal with loss of hearing and eyesight, cancer, and heart disease, not to mention all the other health-related adventures in aging?

Now there’s some golden opportunities for angst.

Nevertheless, despite all that, the report optimistically maintains that “data showed that happiness ticks upward from age 18 to the mid-60s, when the numbers begin dropping, but only slightly. People in their 80s on average still reported higher happiness levels than people under 40.”

So I guess we have to appreciate it and embrace our ever-increasing happiness. As the story maintains, “Among the oldest people, happiness may have helped them outlast their grumpier contemporaries.”