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10. The store is on fire
9. There's a guy living in your cart
8. Hard to navigate around all the crime-scene tape
7. Aisle three is a meth lab
6. Prices are falling, but so are the load-bearing steel girders
5. Palpable sense of despair and ennui (Sorry, that's a sign you're at a regular Walmart)
4. Only thing half off is the store manager's pants
3. Store policy: "You break it, you eat it"
2. "Salon" is just Mitt Romney forcibly cutting some guy's hair
1. The greeter gives you the finger
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