Monday, May 7, 2012

Good 'Late Night' Jokes

David Letterman
  • President Obama visited Afghanistan — unplanned, unannounced, just went right to Afghanistan. Not to be outdone, Mitt Romney got in his car and drove through the rough part of Beverly Hills.
  • Mitt's wife Ann Romney, Mrs. Mitt, said there's another Mitt Romney that is wild and crazy. She says that one time he changed his name to Mitta World Peace.
  • Newt Gingrich has dropped out of the presidential race. Next stop: "Dancing with the Stars."
  • Now Newt will not be able to fulfill his lifelong dream of losing by a landslide. 
  • Anybody watch the Kentucky Derby? Once again it was won by a guy from Kenya.
  • The horse that I bet on was so slow that instead of a victory party we had to form a search party.
  • Lindsay Lohan was seen having lunch with Woody Allen. That's a parole violation, right?
  • After lunch, Woody reported that his glasses were missing.

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