The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
- Newt Gingrich has been attacking Mitt Romney for being wealthy and having money in bank accounts in the Cayman Islands. See, that's when you know you're part of the top 1 percent, when your bank's address has the word “island” in it.
- But, Romney says he is not a creature of Washington. He has lived in the real streets of America. I believe it's Easy Street, if I'm not mistaken.
- Ron Paul was not in Florida, he was campaigning up in Maine. They think he was afraid that if he went to Florida, they'd grab him and put him in an old folks home.
- North Korea has made it illegal to use cell phones. The good news is, it's now the greatest place in the world to see a movie.
- A new study shows that American students are becoming less proficient in science, and if the trend continues, we will become a nation that’s science and chemistry illiterate. And you thought a lot of meth labs are blowing up now?
- A student at the University of Wisconsin in Madison spent 90 days technology free. He went without a cell phone, Facebook, Twitter, or any social media of any kind. And you know what really improved? His driving!
Conan
- Snoop Dogg endorsed Ron Paul for president. Snoop said he likes Paul's positions on everything from legalizing pot to legalizing pot.
- A 17-year-old girl is being treated for malnutrition after eating nothing but Chicken McNuggets for the past 15 years. Doctors are describing her condition as “American.”
- In Iowa this weekend, a woman gave birth to a 13-pound baby. It’s the heaviest baby born in Iowa since the last baby born in Iowa.
- The baby was born fully clothed, and actually came out drinking corn syrup.
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Late Show With David Letterman
- There is now a $250 fine if you get caught eating in the subway. And they said if this works, then they're going to start cracking down on murder.
- There's a $250 fine now if you get caught eating in the subway. It kind of makes me hungry just talking about it.
- The only reason that American schoolchildren learn about Roman numerals now is the Super Bowl.
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