Good 'Late Night' Jokes

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Jay Leno

• The Denver Broncos have signed Peyton Manning as their new quarterback. That means Tim Tebow may be traded. There's no telling where he'll end up — you know, like one of his passes.
• Mitt Romney is so rich, he taught his dog to roll over . . . an IRA.
• The new iPad went on sale this week. The picture's so fantastic, you can see with amazing clarity just how obsolete the iPad you got for Christmas is.
• This week the makers of Camel cigarettes said 10 percent of its workers would be eliminated by 2014 — especially if they keep smoking Camels.
• According to a new book, President Obama blames Fox News for his political problems and losing voters. How could Fox News lose him voters? If you're watching Fox News, you're probably not voting for him in the first place. 

Conan

• Disastrous news for Walt Disney. They've announced they've lost $200 million on the movie "John Carter." This doesn't bode well for Disney's upcoming $250 million epic, "Jimmy Carter."

Jimmy Fallon

• Disney will lose $200 million on its new movie, "John Carter," about a Civil War soldier on Mars. Disney could tell they were going to lose lots of money when they realized they made a movie about a Civil War soldier on Mars.
• “The Hunger Games" is expected to make $130 million at the box office this weekend. Experts say the movie has that one quality you look for in a film — it’s not about a Civil War soldier on Mars.

David Letterman

• Peyton Manning is signing with the Denver Broncos. Glad to see something good finally happen to somebody in that family.
• Peyton Manning will be the quarterback for the Denver Broncos, replacing Tim Tebow, their current quarterback. This answers the question, "What would Jesus do?" Well, he'd sign Peyton Manning.
• George Clooney was arrested. He was charged with reckless handsomeness.