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| Official White House Photo of U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
- This weekend former Vice President Dick Cheney received a heart transplant. And I thought this was nice — they let him shoot the donor himself.
- Fox News sent Dick Cheney flowers. MSNBC sent chili cheese fries.
Conan
- This weekend former Vice President Dick Cheney received a heart transplant. The heart is working so well that Cheney has already gone to Whoville and returned all their Christmas presents.
- Rick Santorum said you aren't a real Republican until you've sworn at someone from The New York Times. Moments later a panicked Mitt Romney called The New York Times reception desk and said "Heck!"
Jimmy Fallon
- Dick Cheney received a heart transplant this weekend after waiting for two years. He wasn't waiting for a donor. It just took doctors two years to find Cheney’s current heart.
Jimmy Kimmel
- Tiger Woods did something unusual this weekend. He won a golf tournament.
- Tiger's now a 4-1 favorite to win at The Masters. They say all he has to do is stay away from Ambien, Escalades, and hostesses at the Waffle House.
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