Good 'Late Night' Jokes

Official White House Photo of U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Tonight Show With Jay Leno

• This weekend former Vice President Dick Cheney received a heart transplant. And I thought this was nice — they let him shoot the donor himself.
• Fox News sent Dick Cheney flowers. MSNBC sent chili cheese fries.

Conan

• This weekend former Vice President Dick Cheney received a heart transplant. The heart is working so well that Cheney has already gone to Whoville and returned all their Christmas presents.
• Rick Santorum said you aren't a real Republican until you've sworn at someone from The New York Times. Moments later a panicked Mitt Romney called The New York Times reception desk and said "Heck!"

Jimmy Fallon

• Dick Cheney received a heart transplant this weekend after waiting for two years. He wasn't waiting for a donor. It just took doctors two years to find Cheney’s current heart.

Jimmy Kimmel

• Tiger Woods did something unusual this weekend. He won a golf tournament.
• Tiger's now a 4-1 favorite to win at The Masters. They say all he has to do is stay away from Ambien, Escalades, and hostesses at the Waffle House.