Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Good 'Late Night' Jokes

Official White House Photo of U.S. Vice Presid...
Official White House Photo of U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
  • This weekend former Vice President Dick Cheney received a heart transplant. And I thought this was nice — they let him shoot the donor himself.
  • Fox News sent Dick Cheney flowers. MSNBC sent chili cheese fries.
Conan
  • This weekend former Vice President Dick Cheney received a heart transplant. The heart is working so well that Cheney has already gone to Whoville and returned all their Christmas presents.
  • Rick Santorum said you aren't a real Republican until you've sworn at someone from The New York Times. Moments later a panicked Mitt Romney called The New York Times reception desk and said "Heck!"
Jimmy Fallon
  • Dick Cheney received a heart transplant this weekend after waiting for two years. He wasn't waiting for a donor. It just took doctors two years to find Cheney’s current heart.
Jimmy Kimmel
  • Tiger Woods did something unusual this weekend. He won a golf tournament.
  • Tiger's now a 4-1 favorite to win at The Masters. They say all he has to do is stay away from Ambien, Escalades, and hostesses at the Waffle House.
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