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| Tree - leaf canopy (Photo credit: blmiers2) |
10. "I seem less wooden standing next to one"
9. "In a pinch, sap makes a great hair gel"
8. "They're also just the right width"
7. "It's fun hiring illegal immigrants to rake up their leaves"
6. "They're not gay, like palm trees"
5. "They don't shed their foliage as quickly as those slutty Rhode Island trees"
4. "They look great next to my wife's Cadillacs"
3. "Trees don't whine when strapped to your car roof"
2. "They're not afraid to stand up to the auto industry"
1. "Like me, they lean whichever way the wind blows"
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