Behind the Headlines: Gator Bait

"Fla. boater arrested for feeding gator that bit off his hand"

'We've got a Stupid Law in this state,' sheriff says, 'and he's a violator'

Behind the Headlines: Whopped

"Mirrors can make unhealthy foods less tasty"

No one can watch himself eat a Whopper and enjoy it

Behind the Headlines: Basted

"Togo women call sex strike to force president's resignation"

Political analysts all agree: 'That guy's goose is cooked'

Behind the Headline: Gift from God

"D.C. man orders TV from Amazon, gets assault rifle instead"

NRA says that a higher power was probably involved

Behind the Headline: Bearded Woman

 "San Diego police say they're seeking 400-pound bearded woman in stabbing of man"

'We should be able to find her,' detective says, 'but staging a lineup's going to be tricky'

Headline Observation: Hello, Darth

“Darth Vader is a real person in New York since super fan changes name”

But odds of galactic domination or even a long-term relationship haven't improved

Headline Observation: Balmy

“Lip balm containing pot ingredient thrown out at air base”

Nabbed when security saw passenger’s Cheeto-encrusted lips

Headline Observation: Festivus

“Florida man to display 'Festivus Pole' at Oklahoma Capitol”
‘Merry Christmas’ scolds vow to retaliate against the restivus

Headline Observation: Customer Service

“Indianapolis airport debuts customer service robot”

Finally decides to catch up with the rest of the country

Headline Observation: Drunken Santa

“Police: Drunken Santa zombie enters St. Paul home”

‘It was wrong on so many levels,’ says police chief