COLUMN: It's Not Over Till It's Over

By Tobin Barnes
As I write, the TV writers are still striking.

Kind of a shame really. But on the other hand, must be nice for the strikers--in a way.

Go on stike and other people notice. Doesn’t happen to everybody. Yeah, their audience’s lives aren’t the same since they stopped writing.

Only thing is, viewers were mostly watching yada yada before the strike, and since then, they’re still watching yada yada. I know some would like to have their old yada back, but many others don’t mind the new yada. Could care less about the old yada.

I, for one, have been watching “Seinfeld” reruns. That’s always been pretty good yada.

Anyway, so it goes.

Much of the stuff we watch isn’t worth watching, while much of the stuff that’s worth watching, nobody watches.

But what are you going to do? Like Yogi Berra, the great Yankee catcher and sometime manager, said, “If people don’t want to come to the ball park, how are you going to stop them?”

So I don’t know about those striking writers. I suppose a lot of them are pretty good, and our culture might be suffering somewhat while they’re grumping about not getting their fair share. (Like who does, other than those who get way too much?)

But maybe writing’s not that big a deal, especially as practiced on some TV shows. Sometimes you’d think almost anybody could do it.

That’s where Yogi Berra comes back in. He could oftentimes be a great writer, and he wasn’t even trying. Matter of fact, that was his beauty, if the word “beauty” could be applied to a Yogi, especially that Yogi.

Yogi’s wife Carmen must have been continually entertained through the years (that is, if she managed to maintain a certain light-hearted frame of mind).

Here’s an example. Supposedly Carmen once asked him, “Yogi, you are from St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. If you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried?”

Yogi replied, “Surprise me.”

And, of course, it must be a continual surprise as to what next will come out of his mouth.

Another time Carmen said, “I took Tim (one of their sons) to see Doctor Zhivago today.”

Yogi replied, “What the hell’s wrong with him now?”

But then as Yogi says, “I really didn’t say everything I said.”

Who cares? If it sounds like Yogi, it’s Yogi. And stuff that sounds like Yogi is way better than most of what a trainload of regular writers could write. Besides, his stuff’s not only funny, you get depth as well. As in, “If you don't know where you’re going, chances are you will end up somewhere else.”

Yeah, that’s almost Einsteinian.

And how about: “We have a good time together, even when we’re not together.”

Kinda Zen-like, right?

“You should always go to other people’s funerals,” Yogi says. “Otherwise they won’t come to yours.” No doubt.

Here’s some other wise pieces of advice:

“I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.”

And “Never answer an anonymous letter.”

Of course, sometimes his pronouncements are just plain dumb, but endearing nonetheless. These are my favorites:

“Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.”

“You mean now?” (When asked for the time.)

“The future ain’t what it used to be.”

“You better cut the pizza in four pieces. I’m not hungry enough to eat eight.”

“I wish I had an answer to that, because I’m tired of answering that question.”

“I don’t know, I’m not in shape yet.” (When asked what size cap he wanted.)

“Steve McQueen looks good in this movie. He must have made it before he died.”

And every man’s favorite: “We’re lost, but we’re making great time!”

(The above Yogi Berra quotes are from funny2.com, where you can find many more.)